Green Treehouse

Looking for a fresh approach to handling your toddler?  Harvey Karp, M.D., creator of the Happiest Baby on the Block parenting methodology, might just offer what you seek:  solutions to toddler temper tantrums.  Curious about Dr. Karp’s approach, I picked up a copy of his Happiest Toddler on the Block DVD at my local library.  In the video, Dr. Karp works like a magician, teaching parents how to communicate with their toddlers in a way that lets the toddler (a.k.a. caveperson) know that you hear them–effectively eliminating most temper tantrums. 

Although somewhat silly in parts, the video offers key learning points and provides parents with real solutions (although perhaps slightly embarrassing at first to do in public) to dealing with frustrating toddler behavior.  I’m already having good luck trying these techniques with my toddler.  And, given that Dr. Karp’s approach has been highlighted on Dr. Phil, I’m definitely not the only one who thinks there is potential value in the Happiest Toddler approach.

Here’s a sample YouTube clip, thanks to Parents.com: 

Have you used the The Happiest Toddler on the Block approach? If so, is it working for you and your child?     

Yet another important milestone has been reached in my household.  My toddler is now officially afraid of the dark.  Just because this fear is natural, doesn’t mean it’s an easy one to handle–for my toddler or me.  It’s distressing to see your little one afraid–and maybe even more so to know that all the reassurance you provide isn’t quite enough to forever quash the fear–that it will likely resurface again tomorrow night.  And once again, the bedtime routine will include combing the bedroom for monsters and “spooksie” things. 

At this age, being afraid of the dark is said to be completely normal.  The bittersweet part, though, is that this new fear signals that my toddler is growing up.  He’s coming to better understand the world around him.

Beyond listening to my toddler and acknowledging his fears, I find it useful to pull out two secret weapons:  a night light and a flashlight.  Ensuring a night light is plugged in is part of the bedtime drill now, as is giving my toddler a flashlight to bring along into the bed–apparently a flashlight makes hiding under the covers more fun.

What tricks do you have up your sleeve for helping children conquer their fear of the dark?

Kids in tow, I decided to make a quick stop to pick up a gift card at a local shop for someone on my holiday list. 

Here’s how I envisioned the stop:  unload kids from minivan, zip into the store, ask for gift card, plunk down payment, zip out of store, buckle kids back into their car seats.  Oh, then, the best part:  the sigh of relief!  Shopping completed for another person on my list.

I didn’t plan for one thing.  I didn’t even anticipate it.  Bad customer service.  The clerk seemed completely annoyed that I wanted a gift card.  In fact, he came as close to saying it, without actually saying it.  It’s not like he was busy helping out other customers either.  He was just standing behind the register when I walked into the store.  And, it’s not like gift cards are an unusual request.  In fact, the counter featured a huge display of cards just waiting to be purchased.

Even though I wasn’t in the store for much longer than I had originally so brilliantly planned, I didn’t expect that I would spend much of the afternoon fuming about the experience.  I thought by the time I was back in the minivan the shopping experience would have been completed.

My solution:  I called the store and spoke with the manager.  The manager seemed truly appreciative that I took the time to call about my experience.  He apologized profusely.  He promised to attend to the problem promptly–I took that to mean talking with the employee.  He asked me to see him next time I come into the store.  He thanked me again for taking the time to call, and he thanked me for my patronage.

A happy ending to my shopping experience emerged.  A happier customer.  Shopping experience completed.

Do you have a tale of customer service survival this holiday season?  Do you have a strategy for dealing with poor customer service, especially when your kids are in tow?  If so, leave a comment and tell me all about it. 

A friend asked me the other day, “so, is your preschooler into Barbie, yet?”  My gut reaction:  what on Earth do you mean by yet?  Yet assumes living in a Barbie World (thanks, Aqua) is inevitable.  First off, I don’t think the Barbie phase is inevitable.  But, back to the question.  The answer is yes.  My preschooler has just started to show interest in Barbie.

I realize the word “Barbie” alone can stir up the liveliest of debates among parents, especially moms.  Some draw the line at Barbie.  Others say, “what’s the harm?”  Still others lie somewhere in between–”maybe one or two dolls, but forget the dream house and hundreds of accessories.” 

As much as I’d like my preschooler to remain interested in her natural and simple wood Ryan’s Room dollhouse and miniature Waldorf-inspired wood people,  I can’t deny that she’s losing interest in favor of Barbie and the KidKraft line of dollhouses (which by the way, are quite dreamy) that accommodate Barbie (and like sized) dolls.  Oh, in case you’re wondering, she doesn’t watch much t.v.–and when she does, it’s commercial free.

Please help me out here.  What’s the going age for Barbie?  When does life in plastic begin?  When does it end? 

My preschooler learned a new word at school.  Mean.  I had hoped she wouldn’t come to know the definition of the word so soon.  But now that she understands the meaning, her use of the word ”mean” is growing in frequency. 

I’m starting to think bringing home lice would have been better. 

At first, a boy in the class was mean.  Then a visiting child was mean.  Another child was said to be mean because she didn’t want to play.  Now my preschooler says her sibling is mean.  For taking her first choice crayon color.  For eating the last piece of candy (even though she ate much more than her fair share).  For doing something first, like getting to the bathroom sink when it’s time to brush teeth. 

There’s no doubt, addressing ”mean” behavior and ensuring a safe, healthy environment takes top priority on the parenting scale, but what happens when “mean” descriptor is overused?  And why are kids mean in the first place?

My gut instinct tells me that the word is popular with my preschooler because it’s a new word–a new concept.  She finally has a label to attach to a particular behavior.  I’m also guessing that she’s attaching the word to behaviors for which she doesn’t yet know of other descriptors or doesn’t yet fully understand emotionally–like jealousy. 

But, I also venture to guess that she’s hearing the word a lot at school.  Maybe, too much.  I’ve even heard the word mentioned in conversation by two mothers.  It was also used by two of my child’s playmates, on separate play dates. 

So, why are kids mean in the first place?  One theory is that kids model the behavior they see at home.  Other theories include lack of discipline or setting of boundaries, exposure to violence, including on television, and absent or disinterested parents or adult figures.

There are plenty of terrific resources out there to help steer children away from “mean” behavior–and toward healthy emotional expression, including books like 1-2-3 Magic or Supernanny, online parenting courses, podcasts, and community education programs.  Some schools even offer parenting classes or awareness seminars on unwanted behaviors, like bullying.

Parental involvement can go a long way toward stemming aggressive behavior.  That saying that it’s about ”quality of time” spent with kids holds true.  Even time or cash strapped parents can make amazing contributions to a child’s development.  Taking time to do projects or activities with a child–playing a game, going for a walk, baking dinner together, talking, or reading a book–has the potential to transform mean kids into loving ones, and maybe even make for less “mean” talk at home.